


Christmas Present

by Fyre



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley and Yeshua's friendship gives me life, Fun, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 03:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21313636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyre/pseuds/Fyre
Summary: The run-up to Christmas seems to get earlier with every year. Crowley knows why.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 100





	Christmas Present

“You keep on this road, you know what’ll happen.”

Yeshua nodded. “Of course I know.”

Crawly scowled at him. “Ooh, look at me, I’m so noble and self-sacrificy!” He waved his hands for emphasis, then lobbed a pebble at the human. 

“A generous gift,” Yeshua said, lips twitching. 

“Oh, sod off,” Crawly grumbled. He sprawled back on the dirt and stared at the clouds. “If you… if they…” He hummed on it for a minute. “If you go and get yourself martyred, I’m going to make sure you get the tackiest festival celebrated after you.”

“Tacky?” Yeshua inquired mildly.

“Mm-hm. Yep. S'what I’m going to do. Bad as the Romans.” He swept his hand above him in an arc. “Bling everywhere! Decorations made of plants!” He gave Yeshua a look. “_Gifts_.” He rolled onto his side. “And… and if you’re bad, you get a bit of a rock. But if you’re good, you get a present.”

Yeshua looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Hardly a great threat,” he observed. 

“Fine! Two! Two festivals!” Crawly propped himself up on his elbows and glared. “I’ll give you one with _rabbits_.”

“Why rabbits?”

Crawly thought of a certain irritatingly chipper little demon who was currently bothering a couple of blokes near the pig farm down the road. “No reason.”

“Are you so mighty a tempter?”

Crawly opened and shut his mouth a couple of times, then wagged a finger at the trying-not-to-smirk human. “You are a sarcastic bugger, I’ll give you that.” He wriggled a little bit closer. “I’ll do it, y'know. You might be stubborn, but I’ve been doing this a hell of a lot longer than you.”

Yeshua leaned down and looked him in the eyes. “Are you sure?”

Crawly was a snake.

Crawly could outstare anything.

Crawly didn’t need to moisturize his eyeballs, nope, not at all.

Yeshua smiled.

Crawly blinked.

“Damn it!”

___________________________

**2000-ish years later**

“Oh for Heaven’s sake!” Aziraphale grumbled as they walked out of the shop. “They’re getting earlier every year!”

Crowley winced, glancing back. The beautiful red and white display was front and centre. There was a reindeer. And chocolates. And bling everywhere. And presents. Almost as bad as the chocolate bunnies that showed up in January.

“Er…”

He didn’t need to look to feel the angel’s penetrating stare on the back of his head. “Crowley… what did you do?”

He gave the angel a sheepish look. “Swore I’d do it, angel. Not my fault.”

“Oh?” Aziraphale pursed his lips. “And whose fault is it, dare I ask?”

Crowley pointed emphatically to another window.

“A doll?”

Crowley shook his head and jabbed his finger more emphatically.

The angel stared and then realised what was being set up in front of them and exactly who the doll was as it lay in the manger.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Crowley grumbled. “All his fault.”

Aziraphale was quiet for a minute, then slipped his arm through Crowley’s. “You know, I was thinking I ought to have a small nativity scene in the shop.”

The tension across Crowley’s shoulders dissolved. “Yeah?”

“Mm.” Aziraphale looked up at him with a little smile. “For old times’ sake. What do you think?”

Crowley nodded with a small smile. “But,” he added, “it has to be covered in glitter. That’s the rule.”

Aziraphale laughed. “Of course, dear,” he said. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a weakness for the Crowley and Yeshua comedy duo :D


End file.
